Dreaming big

The main difference between someone who accomplishes and those who just "levitate" is the greatness of one's dreams. See, I could never dream small, nor did I ever have a desire to do so. I always dreamed big. Sure, you always have to have a dose of realism in your dreams. For example, while it seems very pessimistic and almost prone to fail, I always attack every big challenge with the thought: "what if I fail?". I absolutely have the conviction that you must be fully aware of the consequences and acknowledge what you risk. Cover your bases to the best of your abilities, and draw out plan B and C. Some risks are worth taking even if you don't do all this; but that's only if even a loss gains you a truly more valuable something. Otherwise, it's just a waste of your time, not to mention...plain stupid.

Say, while most dreamed of getting drunk in a bar with their friends - calling it a "good time" - I dreamed of owning the darn bar and having all my friends over for a drink on the house once a week (which, btw, also adds up to extremely efficient, cheap and smart word of mouth advertizing).

Sure, it gets overwhelming to be the one that always calls the shots, but… I think for me this wasn't much of a choice. There's simply isn't any other variant that I can accept. Between being the towel that everyone uses to wipe their face and being on top… I didn't have a hard time figuring out what I wish for. I mean, I would never be able to live with myself if I had to step on my principles just to fit in. It seems way too high of a price.

Of course, the down side is the price I paid by gaining the ambition which gave me the ability to fight my fights. Once you are in the mode of "I know the overall of this situation and I hold the majority of the Aces"… it's hard to do the "political" thing of including others in the "take". Management was never my greatest skill, but… I know that I really have to master it. Otherwise, the final answer is a life fully lived, dozens of friends, and yet … a paradise filled with loneliness. That's certainly not what I want for myself.

Truth is, some people feel fine just fitting in and becoming unnoticed as anyone in a crowd. Me… I simply have to be me. I have to speak up because I always have something to say - if I have something to say. And if it's not something that has an effect on my life or stimulates my brain or my heart, then … well, it's just a waste of time.

 Denisa Dobrin (Tuesday, December 28, 2010)