Dreaming big

The main difference between someone who accomplishes and those who just "levitate" is the greatness of one's dreams. See, I could never dream small, nor did I ever have a desire to do so. I always dreamed big. Sure, you always have to have a dose of realism in your dreams. For example, while it seems very pessimistic and almost prone to fail, I always attack every big challenge with the thought: "what if I fail?". I absolutely have the conviction that you must be fully aware of the consequences and acknowledge what you risk. Cover your bases to the best of your abilities, and draw out plan B and C. Some risks are worth taking even if you don't do all this; but that's only if even a loss gains you a truly more valuable something. Otherwise, it's just a waste of your time, not to mention...plain stupid.

Say, while most dreamed of getting drunk in a bar with their friends - calling it a "good time" - I dreamed of owning the darn bar and having all my friends over for a drink on the house once a week (which, btw, also adds up to extremely efficient, cheap and smart word of mouth advertizing).

Sure, it gets overwhelming to be the one that always calls the shots, but… I think for me this wasn't much of a choice. There's simply isn't any other variant that I can accept. Between being the towel that everyone uses to wipe their face and being on top… I didn't have a hard time figuring out what I wish for. I mean, I would never be able to live with myself if I had to step on my principles just to fit in. It seems way too high of a price.

Of course, the down side is the price I paid by gaining the ambition which gave me the ability to fight my fights. Once you are in the mode of "I know the overall of this situation and I hold the majority of the Aces"… it's hard to do the "political" thing of including others in the "take". Management was never my greatest skill, but… I know that I really have to master it. Otherwise, the final answer is a life fully lived, dozens of friends, and yet … a paradise filled with loneliness. That's certainly not what I want for myself.

Truth is, some people feel fine just fitting in and becoming unnoticed as anyone in a crowd. Me… I simply have to be me. I have to speak up because I always have something to say - if I have something to say. And if it's not something that has an effect on my life or stimulates my brain or my heart, then … well, it's just a waste of time.

 Denisa Dobrin (Tuesday, December 28, 2010)

"Cave man" vs. "smart"

The primitive people were so much smarter! Unlike us, they knew that life was not about ego topping survival. Sure, there were the “Alfa males” and the “mother figures” of the tribe… But if there ever was a danger, the tribe was united as one; survival came first. Unity meant surviving. The animal instinct of self preservation and growth of your own species trumped everything.

In contrast, today is more and more about independence; making it on your own. Getting help from others, making it “together”, or showing that you do have weaknesses… means basically giving everyone else a free pass to “devouring” you. We sham our own nations and adopt others; we reject our own history, or even worse, show absolutely no interest in it… We turn the “we” into “I” and, governed by the fear of failing, we safeguard ourselves to the point of loneliness. We lost the meaning of success in life. They say “it’s lonely at the top”; well, it makes sense it would be. When you use your friends as stepping stones and keep moving “up” fully knowing that you need to leave all that means something to you behind in order to “move on” and “move forward”, you get to that point of no return were you do achieve everything you dreamed of. You can do anything; you have done everything. But you take a step back and then hit that MOMENT. That one moment when you realize that none of it matters. It’s all fake. You are actually alone and misunderstood by all those who are so sure they “get you”. You truly are…“independent”; suspended above all and nothing, everyone and everything. Without a family, or unity, or love…there’s nothing. A lonely life is an equation that makes no sense and has no purpose. Independence is only good in moderate doses; as is ego; as is creative madness.

The idea of “family”, of working TOGETHER towards a common goal, seems gone today. The unity is broken for the sake of individuality. The ego trumps the survival instinct. We lost our meaning; our fight for something meaningful. Sometimes, life is meant to be simple; simple joys, simple and random acts of kindness towards someone you barely know… Sometimes life should not be a struggle. And that is the main difference between happy and miserable. No wonder every other person needs a shrink. We went from grooming or growing up with a friend to paying someone to listen to us and pretend to be our friend for an hour every other week. That is the problem right there! Today we have everything, except … we forgot about friendship and unity and holding on through better or worse.

The primitive people were so much smarter! They instinctively knew that life was meant to be simple; life was meant to be lived.

My Daily Bug

Do you ever wonder why people waste so much time trying to hurt others and so little actually helping each other with no ulterior motive? We are but a second in the history; most of us will not even leave a trace of their passing through this space. Yet these games in which we race to be on top occupy so much of our time... We fail to realize that, at the end of the day, there is no winner if we don't win together. "Survival of the fittest" only has a reason if there will be two survivors in the end; otherwise, the final result - after all the "entertainment" is done - is simple: death/ extinction. It makes no sense. Shouldn't "survival instinct" be about SURVIVING? Instead of offering solutions, and true friendship, and ...just help - without any other expectations - we relish in finding new tricks and ways to stop caring. The lack of care and complete selfishness of some ... well, that just bugs me!
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The idea that "relationships suddenly don't work" although they "worked" just fine for years and years... just bugs me. Main problem with today's society is that the core of the family is not what it used to be. We are now just spoiled teenagers who believe that life will always give us another chance, because it always has in the past. So, why "waste" your time being there for the one you chose through the "worse", when there's a life full of fun out there to be lived? Well, for one: because it is the trying times that make a family a unit. I mean, how would it be if one enlisted for the army for the free college and all the other perks, but when it came down to actually fighting a war they would just quit and say "This is too hard; I signed up for the army, not for the actual shooting and ducking business". Granted, a relationship/a family doesn't have to be like "going to war", but when you live with someone for years, hard times will happen. Seems like divorce is far too common and broken promises, broken families are becoming the new normal. The easiness many give up on the idea of FAMILY with ... well, that just bugs me!